


Therapy Sessions (Pt. 2/3)

by MKZ4345



Series: TAZ Therapy Sessions [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 09:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15726480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MKZ4345/pseuds/MKZ4345
Summary: Magnus, Merle, plus a peak at who's next.





	1. Magnus

“Magnus?” Reese turns to him as he raises his hand.

“I’ll go next, might as well.” Magnus stands from his chair and walks with Reese into the room. The door shuts and again a timer of sixty minutes starts.

“So, Magnus,” Reese starts, flipping to a new page in his notepad. “I heard from Lucretia that you’ve been to a therapist before?”

“Yeah, I went a few times after my wife passed away.” Magnus sits in the fluffy chair, it being perfect for his size. “I don’t remember their name, but they really helped me out.”

“That’s good to hear.” Reese writes something down. “So, is there anything you’d like to start with?”

“Actually, yes.” Magnus clears his throat, sitting rigidly still.

“By all means.” Reese waves a hand, motioning Magnus to go ahead.

“I’ve been feeling… Useless lately.”

Reese waits.

“Back when we were working for Lucretia, when we didn’t remember anything, I was always helping people or trying to.” Magnus sighs. “I would almost always be able to help, be strong enough, be useful.”

Reese writes a short note.

“But after I remembered, after everything that happened during that century and after that still, I felt more useless that ever.”

“Why is that?” Reese asks.

“I remembered all the times I felt useless and helpless, and I guess, because of everything that changed, it really got to me.” Magnus looks down at his hands folded in his lap. “I was taught by a bear once, about what strength really is.”

Reese nods, remembering the Song.

“And I know he’s right, don’t get me wrong,” Magnus says. “But that doesn’t stop my brain from telling me to find any way possible to be useful. I always feel useless.”

“Let’s change the subject a little,” Reese offers, shifting in his chair. “I’d like you to tell me about a specific time you felt useless.”

Magnus nods, and tries to think of one time out of many that swim through his head. He settles on a recent event, not two months ago.

“Okay,” Magnus starts, taking a deep breath. “A while ago, my friend, Taako, had lost his wand.”

Reese nods.

“He needed it for something really important to him, so I offered to help. We started looking for it, but in the end I wasn’t able to help him find it.”

“And this made you feel useless?”

“Yeah,” Magnus sighs out, feeling tired of himself. “He needed my help and I couldn’t do it.”

“Was there anything else that happened then?”

“Well, he hurt his nose running into a door frame and I helped him with that, but he cried and it made me feel even more useless.”

“Magnus, did you hear that right there?” Reese shifts, leaning a bit more forward. “You said you helped him with his nose.”

“I… I did…”

“You were able to help with his hurt nose,” Reese repeats. “So, even though you never found his wand, you helped with his injury. And I can bet that isn’t the only time you’ve ever helped him.”

“That’s true…”

“I remember, thanks to the Song, a plethora of times you’ve helped countless people, Magnus.”

“I know…”

“Do you, though?” Reese quickly jots something down. “Because I feel like you don’t give yourself due credit, Magnus.”

Magnus falls silent.

“I don’t say this to make you feel ashamed, I simply want you to look up and see how many fires you’ve been able to light, how many lives you’ve been able to save.”

Magnus blinks.

“You only see what you can’t change, I think.”

Magnus nods.

“I think you can see what you’ve been able to do, but the voice inside is too loud for you to pay attention to much else in those cases.”

Magnus nods again.

“I think you could benefit from listening to positive affirmations and meditating on them.”

Magnus considers this.

“I wish we had more time, I very much enjoy talking with you Magnus.” Reese stands up. “What do you think about weekly sessions?”

“I think I’d like that.” Magnus stands as well, following Reese out of the room.


	2. Merle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle's therapy session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyyyy in this chapter I used an idea from someone on tumblr for just a little bit at the end, so don't freak out we didn't have the same idea I was just very inspired by that and Clinton talking about Merle's worries to write this as his therapy session.

Merle sat down in the big fluffy chair next, huffing and groaning. Reese sat gently in his own chair, knowing that this session would prove the most difficult. Lucretia had warned him that Merle wasn’t usually the type of person to share his true feelings, and that Reese would most likely have to dig deep to get it out of him. Nevertheless, Merle sat and crossed his arms, staring at Reese.

“So, Merle, have you ever been to therapy before?” Reese asks, opening to a new page in his notepad.

“Nope.” Merle’s response in sharp and crass.

“Okay, well, my job here is to listen.”

Merle nods.

“If you have any questions, I’ll do my best, and I won’t ever ask a question unless you have the answer for it, okay?”

“Hmph.”

“Alright, so what would you like to talk about first?”

“Oh, I don’t know, how about you choose?” Merle was impatient, wanting this to be over already.

“Alright, if that will make it easier for you…” Reese reviews his notes. None of the previous people have spoken about Merle, so he doesn’t really have much to go on other than the Song. Though, Reese thinks, it could mean something if he mentions that no one has spoken about him yet… But it’s probably best not to point out something that might not matter. “How do you feel about your friends?”

“They’re great, Taako cares about himself and Magnus cut my arm off once.”

“Oh?” He finally has somewhere to work off of. “Tell me about that.”

“Well, we were in Lucas’ lab and it was covered in crystals,” Merle starts, sighing. “And I was tricked into holding a crystal and it blew up in my hand and then my arm started to turn into crystal, so Magnus cut it off.”

“And how did your arm get to be made of wood?”

“Pan blessed me with it,” Merle answers, looking quite smug. “I’m very good friends with him.”

“I can see that,” Reese says. “It’s quite a blessing.”

“Oh yeah, me and him go way back.”

“I’m sure.”

“But yeah, Magnus cut my arm off.”

“Pardon me, but it sounds like he saved your life.”

“Yeah, sure…”

“I can see you’re still upset over it.”

“I am!”

“Is there anything you can think of that might be able to help you heal from that?”

Merle is quiet suddenly.

Reese doesn’t speak, waiting for Merle to think it through.

“Maybe…” Merle’s voice is gentler now. “Maybe if Magnus apologized to me, I’d feel a little better.”

“Would you like me to ask him to come in?” Reese asks. “So you can ask him, I mean.”

“Yeah, sure, let’s do that.”

Reese takes a moment to stand from his chair, walking to the door and cracking it open just a touch.

The common room is suddenly laser focused on the door, shock and confusion on everyone’s faces in an instant.

“Magnus?” Reese calls, and Magnus stands. “Could you please come here for a moment?”

Magnus nods and quickly moves across the room, entering the room and standing awkwardly next to the door.

“Merle, go ahead.” Reese sits back down, picking up his notepad and writing again.

“Ahem,” Merle clears his throat. “Magnus, I’d like you to say you’re sorry about cutting off my arm.”

“What?” Magnus questions, confused.

“I want you to say sorry!” Merle repeats.

“I saved your life!”

“Magnus,” Reese says, his tone warning. “Merle understands that you saved his life, but he is still hurt by your decision.”

“Yeah!” Merle all but sticks his tongue out at Magnus.

“Merle would like you to apologize for cutting his arm off.”

Magnus turns back to Merle.

“Well, big guy?” Merle eggs him on.

“Merle,” Magnus starts, taking a breath. “I’m sorry I cut your arm off without asking you first.”

“And?”

“And…” Magnus struggles to find something else to say. “And I won’t do it again?”

“And?”

“And what, Merle?” Magnus sighs angrily. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t even want to be here!” Merle shouts. “I don’t need someone telling me what my problems are or how to fix them! I don’t need therapy, I’ve got everything covered pretty well, I think!”

“Merle.” Reese’s tone is softer now. “I understand why you would rather not be here, but I’d like to encourage you to think harder about what else Magnus should say.”

“What?” Merle and Magnus turn to look at Reese.

“You seem to want to hear something else, am I incorrect?”

“Well, no, you’re right, but…” Merle looks down. “It’s nothing he needs to apologize for…”

“Then what is it?” Reese asks. “What is it that you need to hear, Merle?”

Merle huffs and sits back in his chair.

“I want to know that I was useful.” Merle doesn’t look at Magnus, but Reese sees Magnus’ eyes widen. “That I’m capable of anything at all.”

“Merle…” Magnus’ voice is small.

“Alright, fine, here it comes,” Merle warns, grumbling. “I’m small, I’m old, and before I remembered the Stolen Century I hadn’t done much of anything right.”

Reese writes a small note, but doesn’t look away.

“I’m a deadbeat dad, my kids hardly know me, and I wasn’t much help on missions with Magnus and Taako,” Merle says, glaring angrily at the ground. “It’s hard for me to say all this, but I feel threatened by anyone even hardly more capable than me.”

“Why?” Magnus can’t possibly understand why Merle- Merle goddamn Highchurch, would be threatened by anyone.

“Because then you guys wouldn’t need me anymore.”

Reese inwardly lets out a breath, having finally cracked Lucretia’s worst case for her.

“I’m afraid of not being needed.” Merle’s face is just sad now.

“Merle,” Reese says, getting their attention. “I’d like to talk about that, if I may?”

“Go for it.”

“I think your two friends, Taako and Magnus, they wouldn’t have made it as far as they did without you.” Reese sets his notepad down, checking the time. “You have your own demons, and so does everyone else, but you have something they don’t.”

“And what’s that?”

“A God who believes in you.”

“Huh?”

“You believe in Pan, but it’s not exactly that simple, right? You’re not from this planar system. So the Pan you grew up believing in is different from this system’s Pan.” Reese stands. “I think he believes in you more than you believe in him. I’ve never heard of Pan giving a blessing quite as amazing as a fully functional arm made of wood. Nor have I ever heard of an alien who had believed in a similar God from their planar system. I think that your belief in yourself can be bolstered by the fact that Pan believes in you so deeply. You just need more confidence.”

Merle is speechless, and Magnus isn’t much different.

“That’s our time,” Reese says, watching the timer fall to zero. “If you ever want to talk again, please come over and we can have a chat.”


	3. Intermission 2

They all take about an hour to recharge. Reese tells them that therapy can be draining. Taako watches the elf from afar, then glares into his cup for a while. Lup talks with Barry about her session and he doesn’t let go of her hand the rest of the time. Magnus talks with Angus about how helpful therapy is, and Angus starts to open up to the idea. Kravitz still has no idea why he is on the list, but a quick talk with Reese sheds some light.

Lucretia, after a conversation with Taako, found out about his time being stuck under the strange oil in the Astral Plane. She was worried, and added him to the list to be safe. Kravitz tries to insist on skipping him, but Reese insists on going along anyway, saying, “Even death needs therapy.”

Eventually, Kravitz relents, and agrees to go next.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this chapter actually ties this fic to Talk It Out, a fic I did a really long time ago (about the time I wrote this). You don't have to read it to get these, but just so you know. Also I've just written one of the last chapters for the last chunk (which will not come out at a determined time) that was really cathartic for me to write, so I'll try to finish the rest because I'm excited for people to read that one. It really encapsulates a lot of my feelings involving Taako and Lucretia... Anyway, thank you for reading!


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